During a September 15 lesson at Az-Zahraa Islamic Centre in Richmond, British Columbia, American Shiite cleric Azhar Nasser discussed the "wife-beating verse" in the Quran. He said that because a man provides for his wife, he has the right to "intimacy" whenever he pleases, and that some sources say that the wife is forbidden from denying or delaying intimacy lest "the angels ask Allah to deprive her of His mercy." He also said that according to some scholars, a woman cannot leave the house without her husband's permission because he might desire her while she is away. During his lecture, titled "Battered & Bruised," Nasser said that in "extreme cases," when the wife is "immodest," the man must first admonish her, and if that does not work he must separate the beds to "show his discontent." Then, if he feels that it may "rectify the problem and salvage the marriage," he may strike his wife. Azhar Nasser, born and raised in Michigan and a graduate of the University of Michigan, currently resides in Richmond, B.C., Canada. The address was an installment in a series of lectures at Az-Zahraa Islamic Centre and was posted on its YouTube and Facebook pages.
Following are excerpts:
Cleric Azhar Nasser: We go to the verse, the verse that has been called the "wife-beating verse." If you guys have a Quran app on your phone I want you to follow along.
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From the beginning, Allah calls the husband "the guardian of the women." Allah has given certain privileges to men, and He has given certain privileges to women. They have different rights. The right of the wife is that she has the right to be maintained.
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The husband, because you maintain her, because you are providing shelter and food, and you are taking on financial responsibility… Because you're fulfilling this responsibility, Allah gives you a right. What is that right? The right to enjoy pleasure. There are two rights that are mentioned by the legal scholars, the first is that you have a right to intimacy.
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The one right that Allah has given to the man is that when he desires intimacy with his wife, she cannot deny him.
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In fact, we have narrations that say the wife should not even delay intimacy if the husband desires.
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This is a woman who, when her husband calls her, to have intimacy with her, she tells him "later, later, later" until he falls asleep, meaning she delays that conjugal right. The Holy Prophet says that such a woman, the angels ask Allah to deprive her of His mercy.
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He can give her commands from dawn till dusk, the only command that she has to respond to Islamically is if he calls her to be with her – intimacy. And some legal scholars say she cannot leave the house without his permission, and some legal scholars have said that second right is also related to the first, because he might desire her and if she's away, it's going to be problematic.
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We're talking about a very extreme case where she's not righteous, she's disobedient to God, and she's not guarding her modesty, that the husband is afraid, he's becoming suspicious, there are signs of infidelity.
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Allah says, you're not allowed to strike them, first, admonish them. Talk. If you have some suspicions, if you're uncomfortable with the way she's behaving, if you feel that she's not guarding her chastity, admonish them. This is number one. If that doesn't work, separate the beds to express your discontent. If that doesn't work, this is when the verse says, "strike them." Scholars say, you only escalate it to the third, strike them… and there are some conditions to this. You only do it if you feel that it may rectify the problem. The hitting here is not with the intention of punishing. It's to discipline and to rectify the problem, and salvage the marriage.
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Imam Al-Bakr says, "You shall strike them with a siwak." You know miswaks? The twig that is used for dental hygiene? You strike them with something like that.