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On March 29, 2019, Qatari sociologist Abd Al-Aziz Al-Khazraj Al-Ansari uploaded a video to the Al-Mojtama YouTube channel in which he gave a demonstration and explanation about how to beat your wife in an Islamically permissible fashion. He said that it is not necessary to beat one's wife frequently, but that a man – as the leader of the house – must sometimes exercise his authority and discipline his wife "out of love" so that "life can move on." Al-Ansari said that the beating should be light and painless, and that it should make the wife feel her husband's masculinity and strength, as well as her own femininity. Al-Ansari then demonstrated how to beat one's wife on Nayef - a little boy who might be his son - by slapping him on the shoulders, grabbing him and shaking him, and saying loudly: "I told you not to leave the house! How many times do I have to tell you?" Al-Ansari said that punching your wife or striking her in the face is prohibited and explained that it is in some women's nature to like domineering, authoritative, violent, and powerful husbands. For additional clips from Al-Ansari, see MEMRI TV Clip No. 7108 and No. 7085.
Following are excerpts:
Abd Al-Aziz Al-Khazraj Al-Ansari: Dear viewers, many people – especially people who are married – would like to know how to beat one's wife. Is beating your wife necessary? Must a man beat his wife every day? No.
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First, we must understand that the man is the leader of the house. A leader has authorities, just like a company manager.
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The leader of the house may decide to discipline the wife so life can move on.
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How does a husband beat his wife? He gives her a disciplinary beating out of love. He loves her. The beating should be light, and must make the wife feel her femininity and her husband's masculinity. Now, let's see how Islam teaches how to beat your wife. Let's imagine that Nayef here… How are you, Nayef? Nayed is obviously a boy, but let's imagine that he is the wife. How should a husband beat his wife? First, he must "admonish her" – in other words, he should advise her. Then, he should refrain from sharing a bed with her. If all of this doesn't help, we start the beating as a last resort. What is beating in Islam? Beating in Islam… Wait, don't move… The husband must make his wife feel his strength. Why aren't you listening to me?! How many times do I have to tell you?! How many times do I have to tell you so you'll listen?! Didn't I tell you not to leave the house without my permission?! You see how? A little bit of rebuke… Obviously, she's starting to talk back… I told you not to leave the house! How many times do I have to tell you? See how the beating is done? I told you not to leave the house! The beating is light, brothers. Don't leave the house again! Do you understand?! Yes or no?! You see, brothers? This is beating in Islam. But some people punch her or slap her on the face… That's not allowed. The Prophet Muhammad… Look how merciful Islam is. The Prophet forbade striking the face. He forbade men from beating their wives on the face. Slapping the face, hitting the head, punching the nose – all of this is prohibited. The beating is for discipline. Let's see how it's done. Don't leave the house again! Listen to what I tell you! This is a painless beating that does not leave bruises or cause bleeding.
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The beating I just gave Nayef is the true gentle beating in Islam.
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Brothers, why do husbands beat their wives? Because some wives like domineering and authoritative husbands. By nature, they like violent and powerful husbands.
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With some women, admonishing them and refraining from sharing their beds won't help. The only thing that helps with such women is beating. She needs to feel that you are a real man. That's her nature. Dear brothers, I hope you understood the right to discipline a wife in Islam. We must not start asking questions about whether our religion is cruel. No, our religion is a religion of mercy and kindness.
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