Subscribe Today
Request a Clip
In a parody, "The Virgin of Paradise Trap," broadcast on the Lebanese LBC TV channel, a seductive "houri virgin" stops a would-be suicide bomber on his way to carry out his attack. "We've rented an apartment down the road," she says as she removes his explosives belt, promising him seafood and a massage.
Following are excerpts from the parody:
Title: "The Virgin of Paradise Trap"
Houri virgin (talking on the phone): Yes, I’m right in front of the target. I’m paying very close attention. Don’t worry.
I’ve got to go now. I see a man running towards me. It looks like it’s the suicide bomber. Bye.
Would-be suicide bomber (running towards her): Death to Iran! Death to the Party of Satan!
Houri virgin: Wait a moment! Why are you in such a hurry?
Would-be suicide bomber: Step aside, or I’ll blow myself up with you.
Houri virgin: Why are you in such a hurry?
Would-be suicide bomber: I want to blow myself up in the building of the devils! Who are you, anyway?
Houri virgin: I am a houri virgin...
Would-be suicide bomber: A houri?!
Houri virgin: Yes. Don’t you believe me?
Would-be suicide bomber: B-b-b-but why are you here? You’re supposed to be waiting for me in Paradise.
Houri virgin: It’s because I love you so much! My heart is aching. Your friends who came before you are suffering very much. Imagine somebody arriving up there with his hands blown off. Tell me, how is he supposed to take his pants off?
Would-be suicide bomber: Are you serious?
Houri virgin: Do I look like I’m kidding? So we, the houri virgins, have decided to come down here. We’ve rented an apartment down the road, and I came here to wait for you. We know in advance who is going to blow himself up and where.
Would-be suicide bomber: So what do you want from me?
Houri virgin: Take off this belt, and come with me. All the houri virgins are waiting for you. We will have a massage session, then we will eat some seafood, and then...
An officer of the law appears suddenly from behind with a gun
Officer (pointing his gun at the would-be bomber): Then comes Mr. Tamam to arrest you, my friend.
(addressing the houri virgin): It worked! The ambush worked!
Would-be suicide bomber: An ambush? You’re not really a houri virgin?
Officer: What houri?! She’s working with us. Merci, Zaza. Move on to the next target. There are reports that another idiot suicide bomber, just like this one, plans to attack. Kisses, Zaza.
Houri virgin: Bye!
Officer: Walk in front of me, my friend. You said you wanted a massage? How’s this for a massage? And this? Here, have an ass massage, you idiot.
[...]
Latest Clips
