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Michigan-based Shiite Islamic scholar Mohammad Baqer Al-Qazwini said that if a wife does not fulfill her marital obligations to her husband with no valid excuse, he may hit her. He made these remarks in a lecture posted on the official YouTube account of the Al-Rasoul Islamic Society in Halifax, Canada, on April 30, 2021. In his lecture, Al-Qazwini said that the husband must first speak to her and appease her with words, then "forsake her in bed," and only if that doesn't work, he may hit her. He continued to explain that according to the hadith, this must be done only with a toothpick, a small stick, or with the husband's hand held close to his body. Al-Qazwini urged his audience to try hitting with their hand held close to the body. He then added that according to several Shiite religious authorities, if a husband does not fulfill his obligations to her in this regard, she may hit him too.
Mohammad Baqer Al-Qazwini: "Let's say the wife says 'I will deny you the marital obligation that I am supposed to commit'. The husband has physical needs and she is not willing to make herself available for the husband. Does she have an excuse, a medical excuse, a valid excuse? No. She just doesn't want to.
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"So if she has no medical excuse, no psychological excuse, no whatsoever excuse, she has no right not to make herself available within appropriate limits and needs.
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"If you want to solve this situation start with step number one. You have the best attitude, you know, use nice words and try to make her happy. See what's bothering her. Let's say you tried step number one; you really did. You went out of your way to try to please her and fix the situation. She's still stubborn. She's ignoring you, she doesn't care, she's being negligent, she's not making herself available. What's step number two? And [finally], strike them. The next step is now you start applying pressure on her. Let her know that her attitude is not welcome.
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"If that doesn't work. Then the Quran says 'and [finally], strike them'. If that doesn't work as a last resort hit them.
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"The Imam in Islam says in this hadith, we have this hadith. The Imam says he is allowed to hit her with a toothbrush [speaks in Arabic]. It's a small little piece of wood this big. The Imam says if he wants to hit her he is only allowed to hit her this way.
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"You're allowed to hit without having—this might sound funny to you, but just get the idea here—without having your armpit exposed. That means you can't raise your hand; you have to lower your hand such that your armpit is not, doesn't show the underneath of your arms. You know you hit like that. Try. Can you really harm someone like that?
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"The point is we do have marji' [Grand Ayatollah] who have given the fatwa [ruling] that if he is not fulfilling his obligation in this regard, she can hit him too."
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